from corn rows to rows of corn...

today i went to walmart. (yeah, i know. and can i say that walmart must feel no remorse for a lack concern for the environment or humanity itself?) anyway, i went to walmart and i saw a group of amish women.

*flashback*

the first few months here in se mn were really, really hard. it was cold, über cold in the middle of that january. we suddenly went from a cozy one bedroom apartment to a big, drafty house. i had a newborn who screamed every time she moved more than .5 mm away from my boob and a husband who fled everytime he perceived this scenario would take place. i felt really alone. my sister was thousands of miles away in sweden and my best friend fran was in chicago. all normalities were gone. i kept rreferring to the "iga" as "jewel" or "dominicks" and i was having 24 hour walgreen's withdrawal. what the heck do people do when they need hemorrhoid cream at 3am?!? if my car wouldn't start, how would i get somewhere without the 'el'? at least i could walk to the "jewel" on a sidewalk. but i was a long way from chicago.
i remember grocery shopping once in the first few alienating months in this little town and seeing an amish couple at country market (iga.) i was so shocked, i mean you see a lot of crazy stuff in chicago, but nothing like this! the dude had a straw hat! the chic was wearing a bonnet! if anyone remembers this story from the first christmas letter i sent out chronicling our first year here i related said event. i exclaimed something like, "i have gone from thugs to bugs, corn rows to rows of corn, and pop! pop! to whoa, nelly!"

*flashback from the flashback?*

so here, almost five years later, i am at walmart looking at the "crabs" (lobster) with franny and gus and i see this pack of amish with their plum colored dresses held together with tiny stitches and straight pins, clad in black bonnets. they were carefully eyeing boxes of cereal and containers of soda, checking and rechecking their lists. i kinda of stood there, quiet for a minute (my kids were enthralled with the crabs, i had a second) and reminisced about the last 4.7 years here, how much i had grown and what i have been through, and most of all how much i miss that wonderful city. all those feelings of being in a strange place came back to me.

this story goes a little deeper though, because a few days ago, a friend of mine from our old church in chicago put one of his movies out for its debut on myspace. this friend will always hold a special place in my heart because he was one of the kids in the youth group we worked with and honestly, he was one of my favorites. i loved his heart and i knew he would do a lot with his life someday. when i saw his movie for the first time, i was floored because i felt like there was so much i had missed out on. he grew up. he wasn't a kid anymore, he had grown into a man. i was so proud of him.
the other thing that struck me was how i had almost forgotten about the culture of chicago. i still miss my friends and the rhythm of the city. i still get annoyed that our town is so "white bread." but for now, i guess i will have to prefer the sound of a freight train to that of the "el" rumbling by.

oh, and if you would like to see the movie i am referring to, cut and paste:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kTGMuJOmM-0